January 2012
22 posts
December 2011
25 posts
"Holiday" So Far:
Wake up at 8 so I can prep and sign off on a sale
Get distracted by my dog compulsively licking me
Get distracted by my dog compulsively licking and gnawing on herself
My dad starts showing me this new honey he bought
My dad receives a text from my sister announcing she has arrived at the airport, but can’t find her debit card and forgot to pack underwear
My grandmother calls and is...
You know you're old when
your Christmas “list” looks more like a Target shopping list:
1.) Glamorama by Bret Easton Ellis 2.) Lunar Park by Bret Easton Ellis 3.) Imperial Bedrooms by Bret Easton Ellis 4.) White Noise by Don Delillo 5.) Portrait of a Killer: Jack the Ripper- Case Closed by Patricia Cornwell 6.) Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay 7.) Bath & Body Works Vanilla Noir (or whatever...
1 tag
What Girls Really Mean
In light of the recent influx of communication lapses between my female friends and their male suitors, I feel compelled to compose a handy pocket guide of Girl Translations.
When we say-
“So, where have you been for the past two months?”
We really mean-
So, who have you been sleeping with for the past two months and why did you suddenly decide to remember I existed and also, I...