August 2011
33 posts
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Even though we slipped by relatively unscathed, 2004 taught me not to fuck with hurricanes. Katrina enforced that.
90 miles off the coast of Tampa, less than two hours before landfall, Charley suddenly veered eastwardly and made its second landfall on Captiva Island- the island my family vacationed every summer since I was four- instead of Tampa Bay. While we breathed a sigh of relief, it...
The good thing about growing pains is that you’ll only end up taller.
Almost every morning there is a Nickelback video playing at the gym. And every time there is, I can’t help but think that if for some reason they filmed a movie about the band, Nic Cage would play the lead singer perfectly.
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Growing old, III
Being on the indifferent side of a relationship doesn’t induce as much as guilt as you think it would.
Either my heart is old and cold, or I really am just a jaded bitch. But I always thought I’d be the hopeless romantic who’d twirl herself around any man’s finger who stops her mid-stride and mid-conversation just to look at her, who proclaims how beautiful she is across a...
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Progression or regression?
This girl hated college and couldn’t wait to peace out:
This girl pulled the stick out of her ass and started to be slightly more reckless and a lot more fun:
Now, this little lady is voluntarily returning to Tallahassee for a Cake Shop reunion, some hummus, more tailgating and a little college-town ruckus with old friends.
I may regress in age with this
I truly believe Mom knows best, so yesterday morning when I couldn’t decide whether my 98.9° “fever” and aching body warranted a sick day I was rather tempted to give her a call. As an adult, you really don’t have the holy-shit-I’m-dying moments that you do as a child. Or maybe you do but you’re much less dramatic about the whole ordeal. But since I wasn’t hallucinating, running a cool 104° or...
GENTLEMEN: →
(and ladies- I’m looking to pick a few things up myself).
I’m a creature of habit, bordering on neurotic. Luckily, I have managed to break most of my patterns except for my morning routine , which is as follows:
4:55- Alarm goes off, and I hit Snooze until 4:57.
4:58- Slump at the dining room table and down several glasses of water, a banana and a Strawberry-Pomegranate Odwalla bar.
5:07- Put in my contacts (and if my brain is functioning, bitch...
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Summer:
One week, approximately 28 hours of sleep.